So I did meet my November quota by the way. I had beers with Phill in Cole Valley and watched the NY Giants game. He was sweet and handsome, but there was no chemistry.
Jason, I'll go ahead and make reservations for 3 at Michael Mina's.
There are 9 days left of December, of 2009, and I haven't logged into my Yahoo since my date with Phill. I think it's fair to say that I'll be buying dinner for you kids for the month of December.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
I may not like this online dating thing....
...but I LOVE my friends' comments on my blog posts.
I love you guys.
- Jason
I love you guys.
- Jason
Thursday, December 4, 2008
New Match Strategy
Aight, since I am too lazy/uninspired/smart to keep writing girl specific emails on match, I have decided to move on to generic emails that I can send in mass.
So I wrote my first attempt at a generic email yesterday, sent it to 3 friends for review, and all 3 said I sound like a pompous ass. Super.
I talked to some more folks today and they said, "isn't a generic email the same as a wink?". Super.
As a result, I have just completed implementing my new A/B/C testing strategy:
A) Sent 10 generic emails with my original "Jason is a pompous ass" wording.
B) Sent 10 generic emails watered down to hide my inherent nature, as well (as far as I can tell) as all humor and wit.
C) Winked at 10 girls.
I can almost hear my inbox being inundated with responses. As a result, I will also be signing up for eHarmony pronto.
- Jason
P.S The girl I went on a first date with wrote me the next day inviting me to go out with her and the guy she just started dating. AWESOME.
So I wrote my first attempt at a generic email yesterday, sent it to 3 friends for review, and all 3 said I sound like a pompous ass. Super.
I talked to some more folks today and they said, "isn't a generic email the same as a wink?". Super.
As a result, I have just completed implementing my new A/B/C testing strategy:
A) Sent 10 generic emails with my original "Jason is a pompous ass" wording.
B) Sent 10 generic emails watered down to hide my inherent nature, as well (as far as I can tell) as all humor and wit.
C) Winked at 10 girls.
I can almost hear my inbox being inundated with responses. As a result, I will also be signing up for eHarmony pronto.
- Jason
P.S The girl I went on a first date with wrote me the next day inviting me to go out with her and the guy she just started dating. AWESOME.
A new perspective
I inspired the Beef to write about his own dating experiences. Here is his first post:
I'm going on a real date tonight for the first time since probably March of this past year, meaning a date that I do the "East Coast" dating ritual as previously described by Lorri...pick her up, hold doors, pay for everything, refrain from swearing/farting/nosepicking. And I don't want to go at all. Which is odd because I asked her to go, and one would surmise that if I asked her to go on a date, then I probably had some real desire to spend time with her. Which I don't, but I'll get to that later.
Let's call her Paris. I met Paris in one of my classes at medical school through. She's of Iranian descent, lived in Tehran until she was 12, then moved to Paris until she graduated high school. She went to the University of Virginia where she studied some kind of engineering. After college she did a few different things, from cosmetology to medical research, and then decided to go to medical school, and wants to become a psychiatrist. She doesn't watch TV, she reads The New Yorker, the Economist, Sartre, Proust, and other French philosophy for fun. She speaks 4 languages fluently. She has dresses fantastic, always wearing something expensive and well thought out. She's beautiful, and has long dark brown hair that is mesmerizing and big black eyes. Although we're in the same graduate program, she's very obviously smarter than me. She's classy, elegant, worldly, and proper.
I am none of those things.
As I sit here and write this, I look around at the landfill that is my apartment. Garbage is everywhere, because I didn't go out to get garbage bags until today when I needed them about 4 days ago. An ashtray stuffed with cigarette butts is overflowing at the desk where I write this, along with 3 empty boxes scattered on the desk, and those are only the ones I can see, there are probably more hidden somewhere in the next room. Behind me is a couch that has old tshirts and dirty clothes on it. How they got there, I don't know, because I usually get dressed upstairs in my bedroom, like a normal human being. None of those clothes are classy. They are old jeans and heavy metal tshirts. Next to that couch is a box of miscellaneous shit that is left over from when I moved into this house...in July. As I look over into the main living room, it looks pretty much the same as my room did when I was 15. CDs and DVDs are stacked everywhere, which might be alright if they weren't about various subject matter that she would probably find horribly offensive. Iron Maiden posters hang on the walls. I have a collection of skulls scattered throughout the room. In addition I have a real goat skull that I spent too much money on that is being proudly displayed because I thought it was "evil as fuck" and had to get it and impress my douchebag friends (which it did). The room is rearranged with a chair in the middle of the room because I was up til like 3 AM last night playing xbox, with the requisite empty crushed Monster energy drink cans leftover on the table, along with another ashtray filled with butts. The magazines on my coffee table are "Guns and Ammo", "Weapons and Tactics for Law Enforcement" (No, I'm not a cop.), "Terrorizer" and "Metal Maniacs". I'm a mildly retarded 15 year old in a 29 year old man's body. I like guns, heavy metal, records, and video games. The most expensive and prized things I have are guitars and assault rifles, locked up in a safe in the living room, not art or quality furniture. This house is a disaster because I live by myself and I don't give a fuck. Mom isn't here to tell me to clean up, and I use that fact to my advantage. I can smell myself because I haven't showered in like 3 days because I haven't had to; I have to go to class once every 3 days, so I shower before that. I don't see people alot and quite honestly, I really don't care.
One time Lorri "hung up" on me online because I was moping about how "different and complicated" i was and she didn't want to hear it. Maybe I'm not that different and complicated, but the above paragraph details the reality of my slovenly, disgusting bachelor life. I would wager that a majority of men could relate to that in some way, just replace my interests with something else, whether it be sports, or whatever. The point of this is that Paris is better than me. Way better. Going on this date means that I have to clean up all of this shit and I don't want to. The main interests of my life at this point (remember, firearms, video games, heavy metal music, and movies/tv) have to become either non-existent or covered up for a good 3 hours tonight. I can't relate some funny story to a Simpsons quote. She will not care that my best friend Dan who's in the Army, just got to spend the day firing the M240B squad automatic machine gun and how jealous I am. She will not care about all the awesome, rare heavy metal records I have. She will not care that I just beat Gears of War 2 on "Intense" difficulty in just 3 days. I will be stretching my brain to talk about anything and everything she might care about and nothing that I care about. And what it boils down to is me being, and acting completely different than who I am, which makes me kinda sad. I don't WANT to be any different than who I am, but dating necessitates that.
All because of the little voice in my head that tells me I should really be trying to get laid again at some point in my life. In a moment of weakness two days ago I asked her if she'd like to go out sometime. For some reason she said yes. Apparently I've done a good enough job of concealing my overwhelming level of American male arrested development, and she (mistakenly) finds me somewhat interesting. Or maybe attractive. Although part of me thinks that maybe it's a subconcious rebellion on her part against her strict muslim parents, to go for the med school slacker with a leather jacket and tattoos.
Either way, we'll see how it goes. Right now all i'm thinking of is the $100 or so I'll be spending tonight on dinner would buy about 7 records I really want.
I'm going on a real date tonight for the first time since probably March of this past year, meaning a date that I do the "East Coast" dating ritual as previously described by Lorri...pick her up, hold doors, pay for everything, refrain from swearing/farting/nosepicking. And I don't want to go at all. Which is odd because I asked her to go, and one would surmise that if I asked her to go on a date, then I probably had some real desire to spend time with her. Which I don't, but I'll get to that later.
Let's call her Paris. I met Paris in one of my classes at medical school through. She's of Iranian descent, lived in Tehran until she was 12, then moved to Paris until she graduated high school. She went to the University of Virginia where she studied some kind of engineering. After college she did a few different things, from cosmetology to medical research, and then decided to go to medical school, and wants to become a psychiatrist. She doesn't watch TV, she reads The New Yorker, the Economist, Sartre, Proust, and other French philosophy for fun. She speaks 4 languages fluently. She has dresses fantastic, always wearing something expensive and well thought out. She's beautiful, and has long dark brown hair that is mesmerizing and big black eyes. Although we're in the same graduate program, she's very obviously smarter than me. She's classy, elegant, worldly, and proper.
I am none of those things.
As I sit here and write this, I look around at the landfill that is my apartment. Garbage is everywhere, because I didn't go out to get garbage bags until today when I needed them about 4 days ago. An ashtray stuffed with cigarette butts is overflowing at the desk where I write this, along with 3 empty boxes scattered on the desk, and those are only the ones I can see, there are probably more hidden somewhere in the next room. Behind me is a couch that has old tshirts and dirty clothes on it. How they got there, I don't know, because I usually get dressed upstairs in my bedroom, like a normal human being. None of those clothes are classy. They are old jeans and heavy metal tshirts. Next to that couch is a box of miscellaneous shit that is left over from when I moved into this house...in July. As I look over into the main living room, it looks pretty much the same as my room did when I was 15. CDs and DVDs are stacked everywhere, which might be alright if they weren't about various subject matter that she would probably find horribly offensive. Iron Maiden posters hang on the walls. I have a collection of skulls scattered throughout the room. In addition I have a real goat skull that I spent too much money on that is being proudly displayed because I thought it was "evil as fuck" and had to get it and impress my douchebag friends (which it did). The room is rearranged with a chair in the middle of the room because I was up til like 3 AM last night playing xbox, with the requisite empty crushed Monster energy drink cans leftover on the table, along with another ashtray filled with butts. The magazines on my coffee table are "Guns and Ammo", "Weapons and Tactics for Law Enforcement" (No, I'm not a cop.), "Terrorizer" and "Metal Maniacs". I'm a mildly retarded 15 year old in a 29 year old man's body. I like guns, heavy metal, records, and video games. The most expensive and prized things I have are guitars and assault rifles, locked up in a safe in the living room, not art or quality furniture. This house is a disaster because I live by myself and I don't give a fuck. Mom isn't here to tell me to clean up, and I use that fact to my advantage. I can smell myself because I haven't showered in like 3 days because I haven't had to; I have to go to class once every 3 days, so I shower before that. I don't see people alot and quite honestly, I really don't care.
One time Lorri "hung up" on me online because I was moping about how "different and complicated" i was and she didn't want to hear it. Maybe I'm not that different and complicated, but the above paragraph details the reality of my slovenly, disgusting bachelor life. I would wager that a majority of men could relate to that in some way, just replace my interests with something else, whether it be sports, or whatever. The point of this is that Paris is better than me. Way better. Going on this date means that I have to clean up all of this shit and I don't want to. The main interests of my life at this point (remember, firearms, video games, heavy metal music, and movies/tv) have to become either non-existent or covered up for a good 3 hours tonight. I can't relate some funny story to a Simpsons quote. She will not care that my best friend Dan who's in the Army, just got to spend the day firing the M240B squad automatic machine gun and how jealous I am. She will not care about all the awesome, rare heavy metal records I have. She will not care that I just beat Gears of War 2 on "Intense" difficulty in just 3 days. I will be stretching my brain to talk about anything and everything she might care about and nothing that I care about. And what it boils down to is me being, and acting completely different than who I am, which makes me kinda sad. I don't WANT to be any different than who I am, but dating necessitates that.
All because of the little voice in my head that tells me I should really be trying to get laid again at some point in my life. In a moment of weakness two days ago I asked her if she'd like to go out sometime. For some reason she said yes. Apparently I've done a good enough job of concealing my overwhelming level of American male arrested development, and she (mistakenly) finds me somewhat interesting. Or maybe attractive. Although part of me thinks that maybe it's a subconcious rebellion on her part against her strict muslim parents, to go for the med school slacker with a leather jacket and tattoos.
Either way, we'll see how it goes. Right now all i'm thinking of is the $100 or so I'll be spending tonight on dinner would buy about 7 records I really want.
how not to get chicks...
My ex, "The Beef" was kind enough to provide me with an example of what not to post in an online profile if you want quality ladies to reply.
YO BITCHEZ CHECK OUT MY INK U KNOW U WANNA GET DOWN WIT DIS
These guys should stick to Craigslist where they belong. It's funny because it's true.
:P
YO BITCHEZ CHECK OUT MY INK U KNOW U WANNA GET DOWN WIT DIS
These guys should stick to Craigslist where they belong. It's funny because it's true.
:P
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Date #2 - Web of Lies
This is why I hate online dating. Hotty McHottnes was hot like 10 years ago. WTF! Why can't people put recent pictures of themselves? Is it that f'n hard? I mean Lorri, Jason and I went through a simple round robin process of picking pictures of ourselves. It only took us 2 bottles of wine and 3 hours.
Stoney was nice. We had great conversation and he was pretty funny. He had a swim before we met so he came to District in sweats. Oh hell no!
The date lasted about 1.5 hours and I texted Lorri an S.O.S. I told Stoney I had to meet my friend, I didn't tell him I was meeting her there. I pretended to leave and then went back into the bar to have another drink and appies with Lo-Lo.
Ears sent me an email today, and said he wanted to hangout again. Seriously? I haven't responded yet. I thought I was nipped!
I have Date #3 tomorrow at 3 in Cole Valley with a guy whose pretty cute. He's half Swedish and half Filipino. I'm probably related to him somehow, all filipinos are, I'm not kidding.
So you know what that means Jason? Dinner is on you darling!!!!
Ugh 2 more months of this crap!!
Stoney was nice. We had great conversation and he was pretty funny. He had a swim before we met so he came to District in sweats. Oh hell no!
The date lasted about 1.5 hours and I texted Lorri an S.O.S. I told Stoney I had to meet my friend, I didn't tell him I was meeting her there. I pretended to leave and then went back into the bar to have another drink and appies with Lo-Lo.
Ears sent me an email today, and said he wanted to hangout again. Seriously? I haven't responded yet. I thought I was nipped!
I have Date #3 tomorrow at 3 in Cole Valley with a guy whose pretty cute. He's half Swedish and half Filipino. I'm probably related to him somehow, all filipinos are, I'm not kidding.
So you know what that means Jason? Dinner is on you darling!!!!
Ugh 2 more months of this crap!!
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