ambigudate

So I grew up on east coast, and I have to say dating was pretty straightforward. Boy meets girl, boy asks girl for number, boy calls girl, boy asks girl out on date. date ensues. (girls do ask guys out- but it's much less common)

What happens after that varies, but for the most part, this is standard script. My favorite thing which is not a given, but seems way more common on the east coast, is the post-date text message or phone call. This is a quick message to say "I had a great time tonight- thanks." I can't illustrate how much I love the post-date message. It's thoughtful and sweet.


Since moving to California, I feel like every formality has been melted down into "the hang out". Someone calls someone, they eventually meet up for a drink, some food, or a walk, and then you part ways to meet up with friends and you may or may not see them or hear from them again. And you never really know if there was ever interest outside of friendship.

So I ran into an old friend from home, randomly, a couple weeks ago and we agreed we meet up for drinks to catch up on the last 12 years. I never assumed this was a date. Upon reflection of the night and discussions with various male and female friends, we've hypothesized it was indeed- a date. Let me present the facts:

1) He arranged the whole thing: where to meet, where to eat/drink (ok, I'm a little old-fashioned, but i think it shows confidence when a date arranges stuff-and it shows that he put some degree of thought into it)
2) I met his brother and his gf, and saw his apt (briefly- before date- get your mind out of the gutter!)

3) Drinks turned into dinner...

4) He paid for everything- in stealth mode. I never even saw the check. (I would never have let him pay if I had gotten my hands on the bill)

4) He drove me home. Again I know this is a little old-school of me, but I love it when a guy picks me up and/or drives me home. I don't mind meeting people somewhere, but it just feels better when you arrive and leave together (note:this doesn't apply to people you meet online)

5) There was definitely an affectionate vibe, if I hadn't gone in for the hug at the end of the night, there may have been a move made

Whether there is a second meetup, it's too soon to tell, but I did have a great time. It was (for obvious reasons) much more natural than date #1 with the gov'na and we laughed a lot reminiscing.

So even if it doesn't go any farther, it makes me hopeful that chivalry is not dead.

Lissa confirmed last week that any unique date counts- even if it's initiated the old-fashioned way, so I think I have fulfilled 2 of my 3 unique date requirements to make me immune to dinner buying.. woo.