While I am way too tired to write emails to the potential future Mrs. Heidema this evening, I did decide to prove my commitment to my future wife by spending an hour searching my "mutual matches".
And so I present to you my top ten observations from my first hunting experience...
10) Match.com has an impressively annoying user experience. If poker doesn't work out at least I know Product Managers should be in high demand.
9) There are a ton of people on this site; it could take a while to filter through them. Then again, at the rate I am burning through search results, that could be a good thing.
8) I am going to go ahead and assume that these are the best pictures folks can find of themselves, and discount my expectations accordingly. I will grant you, this doesn't say much for me either.
7) As a corollary to #8, 90% of my matches get the auto-boot on pictures alone. Don't hate the player, hate the game.
6) San Francisco is a big city, right? Then why does everyone live in Sacramento!?
5) If you write anything remotely similar to "I love grabbing life by the horns", you have skipped directly to strike three.
4) There are bunch of people who are either lying about their age or have lived in a wind tunnel their whole lives.
3) If your tag line is a terrible quote from a bad philosopher...
2) If your profile is more than 5 paragraphs, you are BORING.
1) All mentions of being old fashioned, looking for a kindhearted man with a strong moral compass, or frequent church attendance mean I should probably not respond, right?
Bonus Observation) Women really like to say they want a guy that is 5' 10" and above. Fine, and I want a women who is actually "curvy"...
I say, this list should lower my lead in the opinion poll, ey?
- Jason
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3 comments:
Did you come up with #4 yourself? You are so brilliant. Will you make a sexytime with me? My family owns many properties and I can give you color television with remote control.
Nice...I don't miss the Match.com days... :)
What ever you do, resist the urge to lie about your height. I know from experience that it is nothing but awkward to show up on a date with a guy who is 4 inches shorter than he claimed, which happens to make him 4 inches shorter than me. Oh and I was wearing heels that time, and the second time it happened too. And then I stopped wearing heels to meet new dates.
So when women ask for a guy who's at least 5'10" they are really just assuming that most guys are rounding up a few inches, and are hoping that in reality he turns out to be at least her height.
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